singleness – a collision course

Have you ever played the Christmas gift game, Dirty Santa?

The Rules: Every guest brings a wrapped gift. The gifts are placed together in the center of the room. The host writes a number on scrap pieces of paper for every gift and places them in a hat. Each person draws a number. Drawing a higher number is better because you will have the choice to steal a gift or to choose an unopened gift. The game continues until everyone takes a turn opening or stealing a gift. The last person can steal from anyone in the game or open the remaining gift.

If singleness is a gift, apparently it was opened first, and no one wanted to steal it.

Is singleness really a gift? Or is calling it a gift simply bumper-sticker sycophancy to us who are single?

“Jesus is your bridegroom.”

“There are plenty of ministries you can help with during this time.”

“Keep dating Jesus.”

“Be content. God is sufficient.”

“Make the desire of your heart Jesus, not marriage.”

We have placed the desire for marriage on a collision course with the desire for God. We rank the two, and of course, because of our super-spiritual allegiance, we convince ourselves that desire for God must win.

But just because I’m single, am I required to eulogize it artificially? Is it a cruel joke that while pursuing what God has called me to do in my “season of singleness,” I am attending weddings and baby showers of the very ones I’ve mentored?

The crux: who do I believe Him to be?

Is He sovereign over my relationship status?

Does He withhold any good thing from me?

Do I believe God is good… in my singleness?


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