Relationship Lanes

“There are many kinds of relationships.

What has been helpful for me is considering the kinds of relationships I have like lanes on a highway. I am then better able to clearly determine and articulate who is in which lane without allowing everyone to drive in my friend lane. I consider the amount of time, energy, and effort I can pour into each person and relationship on a scale from 0 to +10.

Relationship Lanes

0       Enemies

+1       Old Acquaintances | Not in regular, meaningful contact

– Past relationships such as classmates, teammates, coworkers, neighbors, etc.

+2       Distant Relatives | Little regular contact other than when obligated

– Family event (funeral, wedding, reunion, holidays)

+3       Neighbors | Not in community; see often but not close

– Not in one another’s homes and only surface chats

+4       Connections | Same social circles bring together

– Kids in same school, on same team, or in same activity

– Work out at same gym, etc.

+5       Co-workers

+6       Activity Group | Doing something organized with others

– Sports team, community organization, club cause, hobby

+7       Close Family | See and speak to frequently

– The family you enjoy and pursue

+8       Fellowship | “Church Family”

– Bible study group, ministry partners

+9       Close Friends | Friends you frequently see and speak to

– People you enjoy and pursue, mutually

+10     Spouse

The doctrine of the Trinity (that there is one God in three persons) reveals that God has community and companionship within himself. Or, to say it another way, God is a friend and has friends.”

~ Mark Driscoll

Note: I’m not sure I agree with him (i.e. Enemies being 0, Family being 7) but I do find it an interesting, challenging read. What are your thoughts about it?


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