Theory #3: Perceptions

Singleness Theory #3: Perceptions about never-married adults are typically negative.

Over the last fifteen years, dozens of people have asked about my singleness. They are genuinely interested in my relationship status, but often puzzled by it. Their theory of marriage is a no-brainer: meet in college, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have kids, live happily ever. Since marriage is their norm, and I’m single at 40, I don’t make sense to them. (Heck, I often don’t make sense to me, and I am me.) I can’t help but wonder what their real question is. So here’s my own list of theories about their unrealized theory:

Is she commitment phobic?

Is she too much of a leader?

Are her standards too high?

Is her independence and/or success too intimidating to guys?

How many issues can she have?

Maybe I *am* weird?

Everybody’s a little weird, right? 🙂

Humorous platitudes and theories aside, my reality is this: I’m the outlier.


Oh for grace to trust you more, Lord Jesus.


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