“It is difficult to be faithful without being blessed.”
I remember hearing Breakaway Ministries Founder Greg Matte say these words in a sermon entitled, “Still Dating Jesus.” I was 26 years old, in love and dating Mr. Darcy, and living every girl’s dream of pursuit by a man. I am sure I nodded and probably even produced an audible, prayer-like groan to profess agreement with him.
That was then.
Fifteen years later, I am 41 years old, dating no one, and often feel forgotten.
Am I not pretty enough, pure enough, sweet enough… even to God?
My confusion is not unlike my friend’s. We both need understanding. We want insight. We ache for the outcomes we’ve pleaded for: the end of singleness and the end of infertility.
But will He grant it to us? Do the verses we memorize provide any hope of receipt? Can we call Him faithful if He refuses?
The LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. (Psalm 84:11)
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good. (Romans 8:28)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. (Genesis 2:18)
What am I to do with verses like these? Am I to believe that God loves me just as much as the 22-year-old who gets married one week after college graduation? If your answer is quick yes, then in C.S. Lewis fashion, I’ll suggest you don’t understand. This is the pain that is so much more than pain.
Good things. Good plans. Good suitor.