Day 2: without evidence

“It is difficult to be faithful without being blessed.”

I remember hearing Breakaway Ministries Founder Greg Matte say these words in a sermon entitled, “Still Dating Jesus.” I was 26 years old, in love and dating Mr. Darcy, and living every girl’s dream of pursuit by a man. I am sure I nodded and probably even produced an audible, prayer-like groan to profess agreement with him.

That was then.

Fifteen years later, I am 41 years old, dating no one, and often feel forgotten.

Am I not pretty enough, pure enough, sweet enough… even to God?

My confusion is not unlike my friend’s. We both need understanding. We want insight. We ache for the outcomes we’ve pleaded for: the end of singleness and the end of infertility.

But will He grant it to us? Do the verses we memorize provide any hope of receipt? Can we call Him faithful if He refuses?

The LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. (Psalm 84:11)

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good. (Romans 8:28)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. (Genesis 2:18)

What am I to do with verses like these? Am I to believe that God loves me just as much as the 22-year-old who gets married one week after college graduation? If your answer is quick yes, then in C.S. Lewis fashion, I’ll suggest you don’t understand. This is the pain that is so much more than pain.

Good things. Good plans. Good suitor.



4 thoughts on “Day 2: without evidence

  1. heatherbland says:

    Dear friends.
    I am LOVING this discussion and couldn’t be more grateful for your honesty, transparency and love for Christ. Saw this and thought about this series.

  2. Megs says:

    Those memory verses make me think about the definition of good– our good or God’s good? Are those different things? How does God define good?

    • JMB says:

      My definition of good lies to me. He himself is the good. He did not and does not withhold himself. He is the good thing. He is the good plan. He is the good suitor.

      (If only my heart didn’t deceive, and I believed that 100% of the time.)

  3. JMB says:

    Can God, at any time, be less good to me? God the Son who *died for me* cannot be less good to me today than he was on that day. And he will not be less good to me tomorrow either. How is that true? Because his goodness is the essence of his person. It is an attribute, not an attitude. And he does not change. He is good.

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